Family Coaster – where ‘family bonding’ means screaming your lungs out together at 60mph!

“Family Coaster – Where ‘bonding time’ means screaming together at 60 mph!”

Thrill Level: “Mom-approved danger” (Translation: Just scary enough to impress your friends, but not scary enough to need therapy after.)

Features:
– Loops? Nah, we’re classy—just *”aggressive hugging”* from gravity.
– Speed? Fast enough to make your phone regret being in your pocket.
– Screams? Guaranteed, or your dignity back.

Perfect for:
– Teens who think they’re invincible (*spoiler: you’re not*).
– Parents pretending they’re still cool (*we see you, Dad*).

Warning: May cause sudden life reflections mid-drop, hilarious ride photos, and intense debates about *”who screamed louder.”*

“It’s like a rollercoaster… but with family-sized regrets and bragging rights!”